


I Gave You My Heart

by rieraclaelin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Heartbreak, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-05-06 12:50:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5417693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rieraclaelin/pseuds/rieraclaelin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas and Dean are in high school, and they are in love.  Or so Cas thought...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> This story is loosely based off the song "Last Christmas" by Wham! 
> 
> Tags will be added accordingly. I don't want to give too much away right off the bat!
> 
> Also, this is my very first attempt at writing an actual fic, so... be gentle :P Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, though! 
> 
> I will try to update at least once a week, but with the holidays coming up, it might be a little difficult.

Castiel's breath caught in the back of his throat as he was grabbed from behind and yanked into the boy's bathroom. Before he could even yell out, the door was pushed shut and Cas was flipped around with his back pressed up against the door. The familiar scent of leather filled his nose as the boy in front of him pressed in close and rested his forehead against Castiel's.

A small smile broke out over Castiel's face as he lifted a hand up and ruffled his fingers through short, spiky hair.

“Hello, Dean,” he murmured as he closed his eyes and fully relaxed against the door. He could hear the muffled laughter and talking coming from the hallway as his fellow classmates were eagerly leaving the school, ready to get started on their two week Christmas break.

“Hey, Cas.” Castiel shivered as Dean nuzzled his way down his neck, then pressed a soft kiss against it. He opened his eyes and brought his hand up to cup Dean's face, then guided his head up so that he could stare into those shining green eyes. He watched as Dean's eyes shifted from his own down to his lips and he pressed in closer. Castiel was just starting to lean his head forward when he felt someone trying to push open the door from the hallway.

Dean quickly stepped back and turned to the sink, pretending to wash his hands as Castiel straightened up away from the door and allowed it to open. He stole a quick glance at Dean, then slipped out the door back into the hallway.

He knew why they decided to keep their relationship a secret, knew that if people in their school found out that their lives would be hell until graduation. Five months. They only needed to get through five more months, then they would both be eighteen and could leave this school, and town, behind them.

Castiel sighed as he pushed his way out of the school and started trudging through the snow towards his house. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he smiled as he pulled it out and saw it was a message from Dean.

**_sorry._ **

Castiel shook his head as he read the single word. This was another reason why he hated keeping this a secret. Dean always seemed to be worried that Castiel was upset with him whenever they had to “act natural”.

_It's ok, Dean. I understand._ He made sure to respond quickly so that Dean wouldn't be pacing back and forth in front of the Impala, worrying that he had made yet another mistake.

A few seconds later his phone buzzed again.

**_it still sux._ **

Before Castiel could think of a response, his phone buzzed once more.

**_but hey the reason i grabbed u earlier.. can u slip away on christmas nite_**?

Castiel stopped walking and bit his lip as he thought. He hated trying to sneak out of his house, but it might actually be easier now that his brother Gabe was visiting. Whenever their whole family got together, he usually ended up sharing his room with his older brother, and Gabriel, well... he never really cared about rules. He'd probably happily cover for Castiel so he could sneak out to meet his boyfriend.

_Probably after everyone settles in for the night. Why?_ he finally replied back.

He waited for a minute for Dean to respond, but when he didn't get anything, he started walking again. He had just started up the sidewalk leading to his house when he finally got his response back from Dean.

**_i have sumthing i want to give u... meet at our spot?_ **

Castiel smiled as he glanced up to make sure his parents weren't around before quickly replying, _Of course, Dean. I also have something I wish to give you._

He didn't have to wait too long before his phone alerted him of Dean's response.

_**awesome! hey sammy is here so i gtg. talk to u l8tr** _

His smile grew as he pocketed his phone and slipped in through the front door.

 


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to my friend, and beta, [K](http://archiveofourown.org/users/the_dangerous_ginger/pseuds/the_dangerous_ginger) for looking this over and helping me out! I have my own personal cheerleader!

The first few days of Christmas break flew by for Castiel. His family was finally all back together under the same roof for the first time in a year. Luke came in yesterday afternoon with his wife, Lilith, and their daughter Eve, while Michael and his wife, Hannah, arrived the night before. Gabriel showed up late last night, well after the Christmas Eve church service, which annoyed his mom, Naomi. Castiel wasn't surprised, though. Gabriel always seemed to find some way with each visit to aggravate her.

Castiel was kind of surprised that he wasn't kicked out of the house last year when Gabriel informed his mom that he was moving in with his then girlfriend, Kali. His mom went a little crazy, telling him that he was going to be “living in sin!” According to her, it was bad enough that he had been sleeping with Kali, but to actually move in with her while they weren't married?

Gabriel eventually got tired of arguing with her and stormed his way upstairs to the bedroom he was sharing with Cas, while his mom crossed her arms and returned to the kitchen to finish cooking. Neither one of them spoke to each other the rest of the visit, and when it was time to exchange gifts, Gabriel was the only one who did not receive one from Naomi.

When Kali eventually broke things off with Gabriel and moved out of the apartment they had been renting together, Naomi called to make peace.

Now, it was Christmas Day and Castiel was the only one awake. Gabriel was still quietly snoring away on the blow up mattress that the two of them had put together late last night after he came in. The rest of the house was silent as Castiel made his way to the bathroom. When he was finished, he went to the kitchen to start up the coffee pot before making his way back to the bedroom.

Gabriel was still asleep, so Castiel decided to grab Dean's gift from his sock drawer and wrap it. He smiled as he opened the little box and traced his finger over the dark leather bands that were woven together to make a bracelet. The silver band that clasped it together was shiny, and had the letters D.W. engraved on it. Closing the box, he turned and went over to his bed to grab the wrapping paper, scissors and tape that he had placed on his nightstand last night.

By the time he was done wrapping, Gabriel was starting to stir. Castiel quickly placed Dean's gift in his nightstand drawer, then balled up some leftover wrapping paper and tossed it at Gabriel, hitting him on his head.

“Rude,” Gabriel grumbled as he opened his eyes to glare at his brother.

“You love me and you know it,” Castiel said with a grin.

“That's debatable at the moment.” Gabriel stretched his arms up and let out quite the dramatic yawn, then crossed his arms and pouted as he looked up at Castiel.

“I got the coffee going, if that helps, and I made sure to have some of your Peppermint Mocha creamer stocked,” Castiel said. He watched as a huge smile took the place of his brother's earlier pout.

“Ok, Cassie, you are forgiven!”

Castiel rolled his eyes at his brother, then quickly brought up his arms to block the pillow that was thrown at him. He snorted and tossed the pillow back when Gabriel stuck his tongue out at him.

“Hey Gabe?”

Gabriel stopped folding up the blanket on his mattress as he looked up at Castiel, who was sitting on the edge of the bed with his legs crossed and fidgeting with the string on his flannel pajama pants.

“Yeah, Cassie?”

“If Mom comes by the room tonight for any reason, could you please cover for me?” Castiel asked quietly.

Gabriel stared at his brother for a long moment before grinning. “You sneaking out to see your boy toy tonight, little rebel?”

“His name is Dean, and he's not my 'boy toy',” Castiel mumbled. He sighed quietly, then stood up. “We are supposed to meet tonight to exchange our gifts. Mom shouldn't come in, but, I just wanted to be safe. Please?”

“You know I will, Cassie.” Gabriel walked over to Castiel and threw his arm around his brother's shoulders, then gave him a squeeze.

“So... you guys plannin' on steaming up the windows of his car tonight?” Gabriel asked, then laughed as Castiel shoved him away.

“No!” Castiel cried out, his face going red as his brother continued to laugh.

“You mean to tell me you seriously are just going to exchange gifts, and that's that? No ravaging in the back seat? No bo-”

“Gabriel! Shut up!” Castiel hissed out, slamming his hand over his brother's mouth. Gabriel licked Castiel's hand, then snickered as Castiel grimaced and wiped his hand down the front of Gabriel's shirt.

“We are not having sex in the backseat of his car, ok? Just gifts.”

“You guys are so _boring_ ,” Gabriel whined as he plopped down on Castiel's bed. Castiel shook his head as he went to his closet to grab his clothes for the day, thankful that Gabriel finally stopped talking about his sex life. Well, lack of a sex life. He wanted sex, what teenage boy didn't? But, he didn't want his first time to be in the backseat of his boyfriend's car. Neither one of them could bring the other one home, so... sex would just have to wait. 

Castiel was abruptly pulled from his thoughts when Gabriel cleared his throat. He glanced back over his shoulder at him, then turned to face him completely when he saw the serious look on his face.

“You haven't told Mom yet, have you?” Gabriel asked quietly, glancing over to the bedroom door.

Castiel snorted. “After what happened last year with you and Kali, do you really think I'd want to tell Mom that her youngest son is gay?”

“You won't be able to hide it forever, you know. She's smart, she's going to find out.”

Castiel sighed. “I know. I just... I want to get through graduation first.”

“You know you are more than welcome to come stay with me. You know, in case anything happens. I'm five minutes away from the college, you could easily walk,” Gabriel said as Castiel came over to sit down on the bed beside him.

Castiel smiled sadly at his brother before looking down at the floor. “Thank you, Gabe. I really appreciate it. Hopefully it won't have to come to that, but... I don't have high hopes.”

They both sat in silence for a few minutes until they heard the first sounds of life coming from the hallway. Gabriel wrapped his arm around Castiel'ss shoulder again, then ruffled his hair.

“Come on, rebel. Let's go get some coffee before the rest of the clan steals it all.”


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long wait. There really is no good excuse other than the fact that I'm a horrible person who lost all her drive for this story. I promise I have no intentions of abandoning it, though, and hopefully since I FINALLY got this chapter written, I will be able to get the next one out a lot sooner than two months!

**_u able to meet at 10 tonite?_ **

Castiel glanced around the room to make sure nobody was watching as he bit back a smile.

_Yes. I will see you then._

He shoved his phone back in his pocket and ignored the vibration when his phone went off a few seconds later. Nobody seemed to be paying any attention to Castiel, everyone was too busy looking over their new gifts or watching as Eve talked excitedly to her parents about the newest princess doll grandma bought her. Castiel trailed his fingers over the stack of poetry books from some of his favorite authors that Gabriel bought him before standing up and carrying them, along with his other odd and ends from the rest of his family, back to his bedroom.

Sitting on top of his bed was another small package, neatly wrapped with a bow. As he got closer, he noticed that the wrapping paper had pictures of naked men all over it, each one wearing a Santa hat. Castiel blushed as he placed all his gifts on his dresser before walking over to his bed and sitting down. He didn't have to look at the tag to know that this was another gift from Gabriel, but he still checked and snorted when he read “For my little bro and his boy toy! Put it to good use!”.

He quickly ripped the wrapping paper off and opened the small, white box. His blush got even darker and he groaned when he saw the bottle of lube and a box of condoms tucked away inside. He quickly stashed the items away in the far back of his dresser before balling up the wrapping paper and stuffing it in his jeans pocket. He figured he'd just toss it away in one of the trashcans down by the park, that way he wouldn't have to worry about his mother accidentally finding it. At least the... other items Gabriel gave him could be explained easier than naked men on wrapping paper.

Later on that evening after the family had all eaten dinner and were sitting around watching Christmas shows on the television, Castiel excused himself, telling his mom that he wanted to go change into his pajamas and read some of the new books that he got for Christmas. Once in his room, he grabbed an old hoodie that Dean had lent him hanging in the back of his closet and tossed it on the bed. As he was walking over to his nightstand to grab Dean's gift, he heard a knock on the door. He quickly grabbed one of his new books and plopped himself on his bed.

“Come in,” he called out once he was all settled in with the book open on his chest. The door opened and Gabriel peeked around it with a grin.

“Is it safe to come in, Cassie? You aren't testing out your new gift are you?”

Castiel rolled his eyes and closed the book before setting it on top of his nightstand. “You are an idiot, you know that? Get in here and close the door.”

Gabriel laughed as he came into the bedroom and shut the door behind him. “Mom went to bed already, and Eve was falling asleep during Rudolph, so they all went up to bed as well. Pretty sure Michael and Hannah were on their way to the guest room, so, you should be good to go.”

Castiel breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you again, Gabriel. I really appreciate this.”

Gabriel sprawled out on the mattress on the floor. “Eh, it's what brothers do. But you owe me! Tell you what, give me all the juicy details about you and lover boy, and we'll call it even,” he said with a wink.

Castiel glared and folded his arms over his chest and tried to fight the blush he knew was forming. “I swear, Gabriel, I have no idea why you are so concerned with my love life.”

Gabriel chuckled. “I'm not, really. I just love embarrassing you. You are so easy to make blush, Cassie! It's quite adorable, to be honest.”

Castiel shook his head as he got out of bed and pulled the hoodie over his head. He forgot his coat out in the hallway closet, and he didn't really want to risk someone catching him, so the hoodie would have to do. He glanced at the time and saw it was a little after 9:30, so he grabbed Dean's gift from the nightstand and worked his way over to his window.

“I won't be out too long. If Mom comes, just tell her I'm sleeping?”

“Don't worry, Cassie. I have this. Shoo. Leave. Go mack on your boyfriend for a little bit!”

Castiel laughed quietly as he opened his window and glanced outside to make sure nobody was around. He swung his leg out the window, then glanced back at his brother before shaking his head fondly at him. “As I said before, you are an idiot.”

He bit back another laugh as Gabriel flipped him off, then jumped out the window and closed it behind him. After taking one more quick glance around, he jogged off towards the park.

As he approached he noticed Dean pacing back and forth underneath the streetlight next to the park's sign. He slowed down to a walk and cleared his throat as he got closer so he wouldn't startle him.

Dean still jumped and whirled around to face Castiel before breaking out in a small smile. He grabbed Castiel once he was close enough and pulled him into him for a tight hug. Castiel relaxed into his arms for a minute before pulling back and looking at Dean, who turned his head to the side and looked down towards the sidewalk. Castiel reached out and cupped Dean's face, then turned him back towards him and took in the sight of his boyfriend with a bruised and cut lip.

“What happened,” he asked quietly as he slid his fingers down to lightly run over Dean's bottom lip.

Dean shrugged before stepping back. “It's nothin', Cas. I was wrestling with Sam and the little shit got me.” He gave Castiel a cocky grin. “So, what'd you get me?”

Castiel stared at Dean for a moment, trying to figure out if what he said was the truth. He finally sighed quietly, then held out his hand with his gift in it. If Dean didn't want to tell him the truth, he wouldn't make him. Dean seemed to relax a little as he reached for his gift, then quickly started opening it. Castiel shifted from foot to foot as he waited for Dean to open up the box, fighting back his nerves.

“Cas...” Dean whispered after he opened up the box and saw the leather bracelet nestled down inside. He pulled it out of the box and ran his fingers over the D.W. engraved on the clasp before looking up at Castiel. “It's beautiful.”

Castiel smiled as he stepped up to Dean and helped him put it on his wrist. “I'm glad you like it. I wasn't sure if you would or not.”

Dean glanced down at his wrist, then grabbed Castiel's hand and tugged him closer. He leaned down and gently brushed his lips across Castiel's. “Thank you,” he whispered against his mouth.

“You're welcome,” Castiel whispered back as Dean stepped back again before shoving his hand down into the pocket of his jeans.

“I, uh... I didn't get a chance to wrap it,” he said, pulling his hand out. He flipped Castiel's hand over and dropped a ring into the middle of his palm. Castiel brought it closer and he smiled a little as he looked at the thick, gold band with a blue stone in the center of it.

“It's not an engagement ring,” Dean quickly said. “It belonged to my grandfather, and it was handed down to me. It always reminded me of you, and I know it's not much, but, I wanted you to have it.”

“Dean,” Castiel said, interrupting Dean's rambling. “It's perfect. I love it.”

“Good. Uh, good, I'm glad.” Dean gave a small smile as he watched Castiel curl his fist over the ring. “I can't stay. I don't want to leave Sam alone for too long tonight.”

Castiel tilted his head a little as he watched Dean's smile turn sad. He wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and pulled him down for another soft kiss, mindful of the cut on his lip.

“I should get back as well before my mom discovers I'm gone. Text me when you get home?”

Dean nodded before pulling himself out of Castiel's arms. “I'll see you, Cas... and thank you,” he said, lifting his hand with the bracelet on it before turning away and walking back towards his house.

Castiel opened his fist and sighed quietly as he stared down at the ring, then he put it in his pocket and headed in the opposite direction, back towards his own house.

When he finally snuck back into his bedroom, Gabriel was already asleep, snoring softly on his bed on the floor. Castiel crawled in bed and placed his phone on top of the nightstand so he could check it whenever Dean texted him. He flipped the ring over and over in his hand with a small smile, then slipped it on his finger. It was a little too big, but he wasn't planning on wearing it for long. Not until he could move out of the house.

He pulled it off his finger and got off the bed to walk over to his dresser. He took one last look at it, then hid it in the back of one of his drawers, then quietly changed into a pair of pajamas and got back into bed. He grabbed his book from earlier and settled back into his pillow. He fell asleep reading while waiting for a text that never came.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh. I can only apologize again for how long this update took. I seriously have no excuse other than this story has proven incredibly hard for me to write, and I keep putting it off to write other things. But I am still working on this one, just... slowly!
> 
> All mistakes are my own. I tried to do a quick beta before posting this, so... if anyone sees anything, feel free to let me know!

_ Good morning, Dean.  I am assuming you got home okay last night since I never heard from you.  Thank you again for the ring, I absolutely love it. _

_ Gabriel has been pestering me all morning.  He wants to know what you got me, but I refuse to show him.  He’s quite amusing when he pouts. _

_ You must still be sleeping, which I suppose is not all that surprising.  Text me back when you wake up?   _

_ Either you are being incredibly lazy today, or you are busy and are just not seeing my messages.  Just let me know that you made it home safely, please?   _

_ It’s been two days, and you haven’t responded to my texts or my phone calls.  Are you okay?  Is Sam okay?   _

_ I’m starting to get worried. _

_ Dean? _

_ I miss you. _

The Monday after Christmas break found Castiel saying goodbye to the majority of his family as they packed up to head back home.  Unfortunately, he didn’t get a chance to visit with them too long since school started back up.

He had just finished giving Gabriel a hug and was in the process of pulling away when his brother tightened his arms.  “Call me if you need to talk,” he whispered quietly, then pulled back and looked at Castiel seriously.  

Castiel fingered the ring he had hiding in his pocket and gave Gabriel a nod.  He didn’t tell him how he was concerned about Dean not contacting him, but Gabriel was smart.  He obviously could tell something was not right.

“Good.  Now get out of here and get to class.  Cause some trouble, raise some hell, annoy the shit out of the teachers!” Castiel rolled his eyes at Gabriel as his mother hissed out, “ _ Language,  _ Gabriel!”

As Castiel walked to school, he kept thinking back to Christmas night at the park.  He didn’t think he’d done anything wrong, but then why would Dean not be returning his messages?   Did it have anything to do with his busted lip?  

Castiel sighed quietly as he finally got to the school.  He worked his way towards his locker, hoping Dean would be somewhere around it like he normally was.  They didn’t flaunt their relationship in public, but Dean was still usually somewhere close by when Castiel first got to school.

He swallowed down the disappointment when Dean was nowhere to be found, and slowly gathered up his books to head towards his first class.  

By the end of the day, Castiel was sure Dean never even came to school.  He never saw him in the hallway between classes, and he was absent in the one and only class they shared.  

_ Dean?  You weren’t in school today, what is going on?  _

No answer, just like all the messages before.  Castiel briefly thought about heading over by Dean’s house to check up on them, but, he didn’t want to risk his father being home and catching him.

The rest of the week went by just the same.  No messages, no phone calls, nothing.  Castiel kept the ring Dean gave him in his pocket, and whenever he would start to worry he’d hold it in his fist tightly for a few minutes.  He also continued to send little messages each morning and night, letting Dean know he was thinking of him.  That he missed him.  

He was just about to walk out of the school Friday afternoon to head home when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.  His heart jumped into his throat when he saw Dean’s name flash on the notification.

**_Take the hint, Cas.  Stop contacting me._ **

Castiel’s heart plummeted to his stomach as he stood there and read over the short message for a second time.  With a shaky hand, he tried calling Dean anyway, but it went straight to his voicemail.  Castiel didn’t even bother leaving a message.

That night he barely touched his dinner.  Instead, he kept replaying Dean’s text over and over in his head, and running his fingers over the ring in his pocket.  Finally, he excused himself and went up to his room where he changed into some pajamas and crawled into bed.

He felt a tear slip down his cheek as he rolled the ring around in his hand.  He kept glancing at his phone, hoping and praying that it was all a joke and Dean would call or text him again.  Around midnight, long after the house was silent, Cas slipped out of bed and grabbed Dean’s hoodie.  He snuck out of his room and briskly made the trek over by Dean’s neighborhood.

The house was dark when he arrived.  As he walked closer, he could see a boarded up window that he knew was not like that a few weeks ago when he risked walking Dean home one night.  He snuck up to the window he knew belonged to Dean and peeked through, gasping quietly when he realized the room was completely bare.  Moving around to the other windows of the house, Castiel realized that the entire house was empty, as if nobody ever lived there.  

He sat on the front step and allowed his tears to come.  He had no idea what was going on, no idea if Dean and Sam were even safe.  Did Dean even break up with him willingly?  Did his dad find out about them?

Finally Castiel got up and made his way back home.  He snuck back in through his window and pulled Dean’s hoodie off before making sure the rest of the house was quiet.  As he got back into bed, he pulled the hoodie up to his chest and buried his face into it, searching for what little bit of Dean’s scent still clung to it.  As he drifted off to sleep, Castiel tried to prepare himself for the fact that he would more than likely never see Dean again.


End file.
